OK - so as a man I totally agree, we never have a pen on us, we ALWAYS turn to our partners and say "have you got a pen on you", and after much scrabbling about in their handbags, one is produced.
Saying that though, why oh why, do you have so many non working pens kicking about in the bottom of your bags? and when you do produce said writing impliment, why is it a novelty item?
There must be something in the female genome, that insists they have multiple novilty pens, either in disturbing shapes or with cuddly bears on the top - even at school the girls had 'fluffy' pencil cases, filled with multicolored pens and pencils, whereas I had a pencil and a pen....
Chantel's handbag, at the Wisborough Fete yesterday, produced a litre of Martini and a Pig Pen (there must be some kind of pun in there...).
Well the Football Club surpassed themselves this year in more ways than one, with the Wisborough Green's Got Talent show in the marquee on the Green.
The Marquee is always set up prior to the August Bank holiday weekend, so that it is ready for the fair on the Bank Holiday Monday, on the Saturday it is used for a flower show I believe, but the Friday night it stands empty.
This year it was decided to hold a talent show, running along the lines of Britain's Got Talent, organised by Sasha and Craig, it was a brave endevour, but it paid off with over 320 tickets sold to the event. The support from the community was immense, from organising the acts, setting up the marquee, providing the food, providing the bar, lighting, sound... I could go on, but just to say, considering it was the first time this event had been run, it all seemed to go very smoothly.
I will mention something about the food, as there were some comments I heard about the quality, but considering they were catering for 350 people, in an outside mess kitchen, I was really impressed - the kitchen guys worked really hard and I loved the curry - what do you expect for a tenner!
As for the acts, well again, locals had put a lot of effort into providing some 'class' entertainment for the guests, this ranged from solo artists, bands, comic cover troupes, and air guitarist and a magician - there was something for everyone - well done to all the performers.
As to the winners, well it was almost a forgone conclusion that the Football Team were going to win, with their spoof of Bohemian Rhapsody, but a close second and third were the Flatly Team and the Black Pig Band.
A good night out for a tenner - the question is, what are they going to do next year? Can a second Talent Competition be run?
I cannot believe how many pharmacutical products you girls trolley around with you, this is the contents of A's bag on Saturday night (she was a tad tipsy so didn't worry abut me and Bob, her boyfriend, tipping it out onto the bench). There were HRT pills, sleeping pills, nicotine sweets, ohh and mouth fresheners, I am surprised we did not find any horse pills.
I was also a bit confused about the multi charging adapter for the car, why not just leave it in the car???
And another thing, why carry around old train tickets, receipts and empty sunglasses cases, this is all superfluous stuff, find a bin!
I love summer, the warmth, the green, the sun, strawberries and cream... I love this recipe because it lets you remember those heady summer evenings in the chill of winter when the snow is on the ground.
You can choose when you want to make this vodka, either at the beginning of summer when the 'pick your own' farms open up or at the end of summer when the fruit is cheap in the shops...
Ingredients:
1ltr Vodka (Iuse the cheapest as you are flavoring it anyway)
800g fruit
280g sugar (trial and error to see what you like)
Utensils:
DemiJohn - you can pick these up from boot sale, neighbours etc. - or use another big jar thing...
Bung
Funnel
Kitchen knife
Coffee filters
The modus operandi is sooo easy, just cut the fruit up into small enough pieces to fit into your container, pour in the sugar and pour in the vodka, fit the bung and give it a shake to make sure all the sugar is dissolved.
For the first two to three weeks give it a shake, then you can reduce the agitation to one a week. I tend to leave it in the DemiJohn for as long as possible, but 3 months is a good start.
When you are ready to bottle it off, I re-use the bottles the vodka came in, sticking a funnel in the top, then a filter in the funnel, just pour the liquid through. You will go through a lot of filters, as the strawberries tend to mush up a lot.
I also keep an eye out for decanters when going round junk shops etc. as a decanter of home made strawberry vodka makes a very pretty Christmas present.
You can double up the ingredients if you have more fruit (I usually knock up batches of 2.25 lts i.e. 3 bottles of vodka).
You can also use different fruits and spirits, I also make Blackberry Brandy and Sloe Gin, hopefully I will also try raspberry vodka this year.
Having a Range Rover P38 HSE, the sound system is a Harmon Kardon system, this is lovely, comprising of a head unit, amplifiers in each door, a sub base and 6 CD changer in the boot - the sound is really impressive.
The problem with this is if the head unit goes wrong (and they do), there is not a lot you can do apart from fixing it. You cannot nip down to the local car accessory shop and buy a new head unit, because you would have to re-wire the doors and boot.
Mine started switching off, then back on again, the display went dim, and eventually it stopped working all together.
So the option I chose was to get Clarion to repair the unit. They usually advertise on ebay, but you can also phone them direct on 01285 861 861. The process was really easy, you send them the unit, once they have received it, they phone you and tell you how much it will cost, you give them your debit card details, they repair the unit and send it back. The cost was £80 plus I also got them to add on an AUX cable for an extra £20. So for £100, I now have a refurbish head unit, they even put a new display on it and removed the code, so that I do not have to remember that anymore.
Once I got the head unit back, I drilled a hole in the base of the tray, to bring out the AUX cable, plugged everything back in and Bob's your Uncle, a working sound system again.
The AUX in works really well, just plug the MP3 player in and if the head unit is set to radio it automatically switched to the MP3 player - cool. So I think the 6 CD changer in the boot is rather redundant now...
I can heartily recommend Clarion, there customer service was very impressive, well done guys.
It’s Monday, which means it’s a working day, which in turn means I’m guaranteed to find a vast number of oddities in my handbag. I do tend to change my handbag on Fridays when I go out with the kids, but over the last few months my work bag, change bag and weekend bag have all appeared to morph into one.
A quick handbag audit has thus revealed the following:
My purse. Which is a good thing, otherwise I wouldn’t be buying yet more blue milk at Tesco on the way home from work. Or lunch. Or I guess the three teas from Starbucks that I’ll likely need to get me through the afternoon.
My nearly-done-hope-to-get-some-more-for-my-birthday bottle of Lola by Marc Jacobs
A grey plastic horse that LMB got free with his CBeebies magazine. It winds up and gallops and everything!
A squished clementine and 6 raisins. At least three of them regurgitated. Though not by me, I must add.
Car keys.
Our camera, which I took to the cinema yesterday. Yes, the cinema. But Super Daddy said no taking photos allowed. Though LPP and I were stealth and did manage to sneak in a cheeky photo beside the massive Toy Story cardboard cut-outs whilst Super Daddy queued for popcorn.
Four birthday candles.
A plastic spoon.
An empty tube of hand cream.
A mini pot of Sudocrem.
Three biros.
A Bob the Builder pull up.
My hairbrush. Complete with missing handle.
My diary.
A half eaten pack of mints.
A hastily scribbled list which reads, “Fancy Dress Day 28th July, Family Fun Day 28th August, Nursery closed 2nd August.” I’m glad there was a nursery reference on that one, otherwise I may have come to the office on the 28th dressed as Wilma from the Flintstones.
And that’s it.
Which begs the question…”Where is my phone?”
I suspect I’ll find that in LMBs washing basket later!
“A lady’s handbag is a different concept, full of essential and practical items,let me start you off……piece of Lava from Vesuvius, security pass to underground carpark in Brussels(oops), half a bottle of cava and a toy pistol.”
A good friend of mine gave me the idea for this little blog, as she has (unfortunately) split up from her partner and is left with a ‘man drawer’ in her kitchen that needs to be cleared out, so the questions about what do I do with 3 packets of plasterboard screws would appear on Facebook.
A woman’s handbag has always been a ‘no go’ area for men, don’t ask me why, I have never gone there. Now I feel empowered enough to brave that journey, go against taboo and venture into a voyage of discovery.
As Captain Kirk said, “to go where no man has gone before”, I will make that voyage and report back; I can foresee many dangers on this trip into the unknown, from physical (broken fingers, handbag battery etc.) to the psychological perils, as yet to be ascertained.
